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Getting Dumped: Tips for Coping When Relationships End

Oct 11, 2007
Getting dumped is one of the worst emotional experiences you can go through. It's not just that you are no longer part of a couple, but you also feel as if there must be something wrong with you to cause this other person to reject you in such a way.

It doesn't matter whether you had a feeling that things weren't going right, or whether you have been completely blindsided by the rejection, your feelings of self-worth will plummet. What you need to remember is that getting dumped, while not the most motivating experience in the world, is not the end of the world! It's not even the end of the dating world for you. See if any of the following cliches help you to cope better when your relationship turns out to be less than you thought it was:

1. This is for the best! Really! It doesn't matter how long you've been dating this person, if they've dumped you now, it was never going to work out in the long-term. Once your bruised confidence gets over the initial shock, you'll realize that a relationship that's not going anywhere isn't worth the time you spend on it. Far better you know that now and have a chance to find someone who is a perfect match for you!

2. There's plenty more fish in the sea! And guess what, some of them are exactly what you're looking for. Get out into the dating pool again and check out who's available and who's interested in you. Even if you're not interested in them as a potential date, the fact that someone is eyeing you up and wants to get to know you better is going to be a healing balm to your confidence.

3. Time heals. This is true of most things in life. It doesn't mean that time allows you to forget what happened, you'll still find it difficult to trust your new partner when you find them, but what time allows you to do is to forget the pain you're feeling now. It will, eventually, allow you to trust the new partner and allow them to get to know the real you.

4. You deserve better! Of course you do! Don't allow the rejection from this partner to make you believe you are a lesser person than you'd originally thought. Them dumping you isn't about you, it's about them! You are still the same wonderful person that they wanted to go out with but somewhere along the line, they've changed and you don't fit their new vision. Don't change because you want to fit into the new vision that they seek, instead accept that you are a great person in your own right, and you are worthy of having someone love you for being that.

Being dumped isn't the end of the world; it just feels that way for a while. Don't rush into any relationships while the pain is still raw, you're only looking to add more hurt onto what you already feel! Instead give yourself time to think about what went wrong in the relationship, any warning signs you may have missed, and accept that the relationship wasn't going to work out so it was good to find out sooner rather than later. Consider anything that you did that could have contributed to the break-up and whether this is something that you should work on, or something that is part of you and a new partner will have to accept. Then you're ready to get back out there and find someone new who is more worthy of your attention.
About the Author
Jane Saeman runs a site called along with info on dating and relationship on her blog at at http://www.Hot-Firefighters.com/blog2
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