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Dating Dislikes: Four Traits that Girls Won't Accept

Oct 11, 2007
When out on a date, especially a first date, most people will be flexible in what they do and don't find acceptable, but there are a few things that are definitely date breakers so if you're planning a date in the future, keep these in mind or you'll find that a follow-up date won't be happening!

Being late: This is a double standard unfortunately! Girls are notoriously late for dates, they turn up 5-10 minutes late smiling, apologizing profusely and giving their appearance as the excuse for their tardiness. They won't think for a moment that you minded being there on your own wondering if they were going to show or not.

On the other side of the coin however, if you leave your date waiting while you turn up late, no amount of excuses, even genuine ones like you missed the bus, car broke down, etc - are acceptable. You were late, "Strike 1"! While you still may survive to another date, the episode won't be forgotten and she'll probably always refer back to that date as "the one I thought you'd stood me up!" So, unless you can let your date know in advance that you may be late, don't be!

Lack of effort with appearance: If you're off on a date make sure that you put some effort into your appearance. You don't need designer clothes or expensive cologne, but you do need to look as if you're clean and tidy! Your clothes should look freshly laundered and without stains. Your hair should look as if it's seen a comb, and if you're clean shaven make sure that you are clean shaven! Your date will put considerable effort into looking her best for you, and she will feel you are disrespecting her if you don't make at least some attempt to dress up for her.

Self-importance: Girls are interested in you, but they don't want to hear about you all night. Even if they ask you questions and you have to answer them, find a balance between information and too much information! Answering with single word answers is going to make the grade either, but keep your answers short and then turn the question back to your date.

She may or may not want to talk about herself, but what she will think about later (or her friends will point out when she tells them about the date) is that you talked all night about yourself, so play down your importance in your workplace, tell her what you do but not how you do it, tell her you've traveled and a summary of where but don't sound like a travel guide! Girls are usually more attracted to a guy who underplays his abilities so retain a little bit of mystery and try to draw them out instead.

Lack of respect: Respect comes in many guises on a date, and many of them are within the minefield of male-female roles. Offer to take her coat, pull out her chair etc. on a first date and see how she reacts. If you get a negative response to this, take this as a sign she thinks you assume she's inferior and don't do it again! Let her make her own choices from the menu, don't assume that you know best even if the restaurant is one of your regular places to eat.

Advise her on what you think is good, but let her make up her own mind. Don't always choose the locations of the dates; keep an equal balance. Don't always insist on paying, even if she's got a lower income she still has self-respect. If the date is expensive, tell her that you'll pay this one and she can buy you coffee tomorrow, thereby assuring yourself of a follow-up date as well as letting her keep her dignity.

Don't patronize or monopolize the conversation or she'll think that you're not interested in her at all. All of these things are annoying on their own, but added together they give the impression that you don't respect her as your equal and she's not going to stick around long!

Although there can be other things that girls don't like on a date, most of them will be forgiven, but the four listed above are an almost guarantee that your date is not going to readily agree to go on another date with you!
About the Author
Jane Saeman runs a site called along with info on dating and relationship on her blog at at http://www.Hot-Firefighters.com/blog2
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