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Dating Married People: Affairs Are a Dangerous Game

Oct 11, 2007
Should you get involved with someone who's married? Absolutely not. It's not just that they've already made a commitment to someone else, it's not even that it's morally wrong in the eyes of most cultures, but mainly it's because the relationship is going to go nowhere!

Why date a married man? Well there are those who habitually date people who are married not because they want a secure relationship, but rather that they don't want to make a commitment to someone else themselves. This works out great for them. They get to have the "plus" aspects of a relationship without being tied down. You should know however that there is a downside to this kind of relationship however because the married partner isn't always able to turn up for dates, or has to be home by a certain time so as not to arouse suspicion at home, and there will be certain places you are unable to go together for fear of them being seen with you.

If you enter into an affair, you are going to become almost invisible as a date. You are not free to find another partner who is free to date you openly, and yet you are not visibly attached to anyone. Anytime you and the person you have entered the affair with go somewhere, you risk the possibility of their partner finding out and so your married date may choose some very obscure places to eat, supposing they ever dare to be seen with you at all in public! If you happen to see your married date at a restaurant, or function, you need to be prepared to meet the partner they're committed to. You will also need to be prepared to act as if you don't know this married date very well and be careful not to say anything that would imply differently.

Don't fall for the old line of "my partner doesn't understand me and I'm going to leave them". In all likelihood this isn't going to happen. They aren't going to leave their nice house, nice family, nice job, nice place in the community for you. Well they might, but the odds are really stacked against you on that on. Besides, if they've cheated on the person they're married to and then left them for you, you have to consider that they could do this again, only this time it will you that's left alone!

Do you really want to be little more than a shadow? Someone who is there when the married partner requests it? Someone who never gets to call them at their home or office in case someone figures out that they're having an affair? This may work if you're not looking to have someone there for you on the days when you need support and comfort, but if you want a relationship which has more than a sexual context to it, then having an affair with a married person is not the answer to your dating dilemma.
About the Author
Jane Saeman runs a site called along with info on dating and relationship on her blog at at http://www.Hot-Firefighters.com/blog2
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