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Tips for Ending a Bad Date

Oct 11, 2007
No matter how much you hope that every date you go on is going to be a good one, even if it doesn't end up with a romantic connection, bad dates do happen. It could because you and your date find that you don't have anything in common with each other except for the one thing that brought you together in the first place (this could be a gym that you both attend, working together or even being introduced by a mutual friend), or it could be that everything that could go wrong on the date did go wrong, and that includes some unattractive habits that your date has displayed!

If the date is going badly, don't leave it right until the end before you tell your date that this isn't working. Assess how much of the failure to find a spark at the date is because of circumstances outside the control of both your date and yourself, and how much of the problem lies with the simple fact that you're just not compatible. If the date has been bad because of external factors then perhaps you might want to consider rescheduling it to see how things go next time; you'll certainly have a shared experience to laugh about. On the other hand, if you feel that there's no chance that you'd date this person again, then you need to be absolutely clear about this.

Don't make any reference to a future date. If they bring up the issue, tell them gently but firmly that you don't think it's a good idea, and that it's not something you want to do. Explain that you don't feel any connection with them. You don't need to get mean, or even personal, it's your right to say who you date and if you don't want to date this person again, then you don't have to defend that choice. If they try to sway your decision, or at least manage to negotiate a "maybe" from your "no", they're not going to give up! Cut your losses now and make a clean break by being honest. You don't want to hurt your date's feelings by rejecting their offer of another date, but you do want to be clear that you mean "no" when you say it. Don't let the issue turn into a debate.

You should have decided who was going to pay for the date at the beginning of the evening. If you hadn't, then you need to decide that now. If it was bad because of your date's behavior, then perhaps you could feel he should pay for everything. If it was bad because you just didn't feel attracted to them, then you should consider paying at least your half of the tab, even if they insist they want to pay. It will help you walk away from the date feeling less guilty about not accepting another date from them if you share the expenses of the evening.

Accept that bad dates happen, and if one does happen to you, just deal with it, put it down to experience and move on.
About the Author
Jane Saeman runs a site called along with info on dating and relationship on her blog at at http://www.Hot-Firefighters.com/blog2
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