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Bad Gifts to Avoid Giving your Lady

Oct 12, 2007
So a gift is a gift right? It's the thought that counts right? Well yes...and no! If you're going to give the lady in your life a gift, then you need to put a little bit of thought into it. What does she like? What colors, scents, and chocolates does she love? Is she passionate about anything? Does she have a favorite type of music? Picking up something that falls into one of the above categories should fit nicely as a "perfect" gift option -- only make sure she doesn't have whatever you're going to buy beforehand (or if you can't check, make sure you keep the receipt and can exchange it for something similar that she doesn't have!).

Even though the fact that you've bought the woman in your life a gift should be enough for her to fall at your feet, it doesn't quite work that simply. You see there are some gifts that will bring quite the opposite reaction simply because they are based on assumptions -- and if you get a negative reaction, you can assume that your assumptions were wrong!

Top tips for things to avoid include:
1. Anything related to the home, unless she's actually told you that she'd be ecstatic to receive a particular item because she desperately needs it -- this mainly relates to kitchen and cleaning equipment. The negative side of this occurs because it's putting her in her place as the person responsible for cooking and cleaning. A beautiful lamp or print for her wall on the other hand could be well received, but only if you are perfectly in tune with her taste.

2. Something your mother would love! Even if they have the same taste, and by the way that's highly unlikely, don't ever buy something for your lady based on the idea that your mom would love it and so your partner will to! Think of it in the context of her buying something for you that her father would use. Parents are of a different generation so buying a gift and saying "my mom uses the same lotion" is going to make your lady feel old, not adored!

3. Clothes! Women and clothes are a mystery to most men -- especially straight men -- so don't buy her anything she-d need to wear. Shoes and handbags are another girl-thing that you should avoid. You-re probably not up on trends, and don't know what's she's got (unless you're married, you very likely only know the tip of her shoe mountain, and even if you are married to your lady, she's probably got a few pair stashed away that you don't know about!). If you know that shoes, for example, are your lady's passion -- buy her a gift certificate for a designer shoe store and let her pick out her own.

4. Anything that implies she's overweight! This could be anything from a healthy eating magazine subscription to membership for the local gym. This is definitely a "does my bum look big in this?" dilemma and you really don't want to go there!

5. Lingerie -- unless you know she'd find it sexy that you bought it, and won't be offended by what you buy. There are ladies who think it's cool for their men to buy them slinky undies, and then there are those who would be mortified that their guy was wandering around the panties aisle at the store with the intention of buying something for her. Know which your lady is before you put your toe into these shark infested waters!

Listen to what your lady tells you. Make mental notes of her likes and dislikes. Is she girly? Is she into cute stuff? Is she more sophisticated? Is she a flowers person or does she prefer plants that last longer? Does she watch movies or listen to music? During the course of the early part of your relationship you will learn things about her just by listening -- or even asking the odd question such as "you smell nice, what is it?" and remember what she tells you because it's a possible future gift!

There are many clues like this that you can glean from her so you'll be able to find the perfect gift so unless she's a hotshot in the kitchen and loves nothing better than getting creative with food, don't just buy her the latest hot kitchen gizmo -- a bottle of her favorite scented bubble bath may be less expensive, but it'll be better received!
About the Author
Jane Saeman runs a site called along with info on dating and relationship on her blog at at http://www.Hot-Firefighters.com/blog2
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