Home » Arts and Entertainment » Humor

Are You A Fair-Weather Friend?

Oct 12, 2007
The weather is changing. Some people blame global warming. My grandmother blamed the astronauts who walked on the moon.

There isn't much weather in Los Angeles - unless you count earthquakes, mudslides, fires and droughts. Because LA is desert, the primary use of windshield wipers is to hold parking tickets.

When it does rain, however, it's a major news story. Television programs are interrupted for rain alerts. Because of the lack of rain, oil builds up on our freeways. Oil is our black ice and creates just as much traffic trauma as the frozen version.

Then there's smog - euphemistically referred to as low cloud cover. It gives us laid-back, Pacific Coasters something to beach about.

Although the atmospheric conditions in LA are as predictable as night and day, our forecasters still make mistakes. Instead of having radar and satellites, maybe they just need windows in their offices.

Perhaps forecasters are technology-challenged because many aren't meteorologists. Nice hair and good smiles seem to be the main criteria for the job, but some talent is necessary. It's not easy to show high pressure patterns by pointing at a blank, blue screen while being guided by quick peeks at off-screen televisions.

If you can simultaneously pat your head and rub your stomach, you could have a future in forecasting - but I don't think pessimists should apply for the job. They're the ones who say the day's going to be partly cloudy, when they could just as correctly say partly sunny.

Forecasters in general spend more time discussing what happened today than predicting what's going to happen tomorrow. Of course, this greatly increases their chances of being right. They also spend considerable time discussing what's going on in other parts of the country; but I enjoy that - especially in the winter.

Winter is what attracts visits from our family and friends - many more than when we lived in New Jersey. Nevertheless, they say they'd miss the seasons if they lived here. Don't they miss the seasons when they winter in Florida?

Because we live by the ocean, they want to know if we worry about tsunamis. No, I worry about the neighbor's hot tub overflowing.

Many of our family and friends live in New England, where they say, "If you don't like the weather, wait a minute". If you don't like the weather in Los Angeles, there's no point waiting for it to change.
About the Author
KNIGHT PIERCE HIRST takes humorous looks at life.
Take a minute to make yourself smile at
http://knightwatch.typepad.com
Rating:
Please Rate:
(Average: Not rated)
Views: 134
Print Email Report Share
Article Categories
    • Classic Cars
    • Motorcycles
    • Recreational Vehicles
    • SUVs
    • Trucks
    • Vans
    • Branding
    • Business Opportunities
    • Careers and Jobs
    • Corporate
    • Customer Service
    • Direct Mail
    • Entrepreneurship
    • Ethics
    • Financing
    • Franchising
    • Home-Based Business
    • Human Resources
    • Import and Export
    • Leadership
    • Management
    • Market Research
    • Marketing and Advertising
    • Negotiation
    • Network Marketing
    • Networking
    • Organizational
    • Presentation
    • Project Management
    • Public Relations
    • Small Business
    • Strategic Planning
    • Team Building
    • Telemarketing
    • Training
    • Data Recovery
    • Databases
    • Games
    • Hardware
    • Networks
    • Operating Systems
    • Programming
    • Security
    • Software
    • Spyware and Viruses
    • Ask an Expert
    • College and University
    • Home Schooling
    • K-12
    • Languages
    • Online Education
    • Psychology
    • Accounting
    • Credit
    • Currency Trading
    • Debt Consolidation
    • Insurance
    • Investing
    • Leasing
    • Loans
    • Mortgage
    • Mutual Funds
    • Personal Finance
    • Stock Market
    • Structured Settlements
    • Taxes
    • Wealth Building
    • Coffee
    • Cooking
    • Gourmet
    • Recipes
    • Wine and Spirits
    • Acne
    • Aerobics
    • Alternative Medicine
    • Beauty
    • Cancer
    • Cosmetics
    • Depression
    • Diabetes
    • Diseases and Conditions
    • Fitness Equipment
    • Fitness
    • Hair Loss
    • Heart Disease
    • Medicine
    • Men's Health
    • Muscle Building
    • Nutrition
    • Skin Care
    • Supplements and Vitamins
    • Weight Loss
    • Women's Health
    • Yoga
    • Arts and Crafts
    • Babies
    • Collecting
    • Elderly Care
    • Genealogy
    • Hobbies
    • Parenting
    • Pets
    • Pregnancy
    • Woodworking
    • Feng Shui
    • Gardening
    • Home Appliances
    • Home Security
    • Interior Design
    • Landscaping
    • Affiliate Programs
    • Article Marketing
    • Auctions
    • Audio
    • Banner Advertising
    • Blogging
    • Broadband
    • Domain Names
    • E-Books
    • E-Commerce
    • Email Marketing
    • Ezines and Newsletters
    • Forums
    • Internet Marketing
    • Link Popularity
    • Pay-Per-Click
    • Podcasting
    • RSS
    • Search Engine Marketing
    • Search Engine Optimization
    • Security
    • Social Media
    • Spam
    • Video
    • Viral Marketing
    • Web Design
    • Web Development
    • Web Hosting
    • Copyright
    • Cyber Law
    • Intellectual Property
    • National, State, Local
    • Patents
    • Regulatory Compliance
    • Trademarks
    • Buying
    • Selling
    • Baseball
    • Basketball
    • Boating
    • Cycling
    • Extreme Sports
    • Fishing
    • Football
    • Golf
    • Hockey
    • Hunting
    • Martial Arts
    • Running
    • Scuba Diving
    • Soccer
    • Swimming
    • Tennis
    • Dating
    • Divorce
    • Marriage
    • Weddings
    • Astrology
    • Buddhism
    • Christianity
    • Faith
    • Hinduism
    • Islam
    • Judaism
    • Meditation
    • Metaphysical
    • New Age
    • Cable and Satellite TV
    • Cell Phones
    • Communication
    • Gadgets and Gizmos
    • GPS
    • Satellite Radio
    • Video Conferencing
    • VoIP
    • Addictions
    • Coaching
    • Goal Setting
    • Motivational
    • Stress Management
    • Time Management
    • Clothing
    • Electronics
    • Fashion
    • Gifts
    • Jewelry
    • Causes and Organizations
    • Environment
    • History
    • Holidays
    • Men's Issues
    • Nature
    • Philosophy
    • Politics
    • Women's Issues
    • World Affairs
    • Air Travel
    • Camping
    • Cruises
    • Destinations
    • Outdoors
    • Article Writing
    • Book Reviews
    • Copywriting
    • Fiction
    • Non-Fiction
    • Poetry
    • Quotes
    • Screenplay
    • Tools and Resources