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Direct Dating -- Taking Control of Your Personal Life

Oct 13, 2007
One way through the maze of dead ends and false starts usually connected to the dating game is to use a direct dating service. This kind of dating allow you to be more in control of the kind of people you meet, as well as the places you want to go to meet them. This cuts out not only a lot of time wasters, but also a lot of wasted time as you are more sure of the personality of the person before you even meet them.

Direct dating through dating agencies used to be thought of as something you did as a last resort, but these days they are making something of a comeback, especially those which are based on the Internet. This is mainly because people are either already too time committed to look for the right person in real life, or they are too wary of finding the wrong kind of person.

The direct dating road allows you to give prospective daters your personal info (apart from where you live of course), and allows you to search the agencies databank of people who fit the criteria you seek.

This kind of dating doesn't come cheap however. What it saves you in time wasted looking in the wrong places; it costs you in terms of membership fees. You can occasionally avoid paying these however if you know first of all the kind of partner you want to date and so can quickly and accurately complete the required forms and questionnaires supplied by the dating agency, and by making sure that you are also 100% honest about yourself. Covering up any flaws that will be unmasked the moment someone meets you is going to waste time -- yours and theirs. What you are hoping to do is to find as many suitable dates as possible within the free trial period offered by the dating agency.

If you decide that you're going to make use of technology and do your direct dating through an online dating agency, then you'll be able to weed out most of the unsuitable potential partners within the comfort of your own home, and at a time that fits around your schedule. Although you can't be 100% sure that the person you are communicating with is 100% genuine, you have an opportunity of exchanging correspondence with them until you feel comfortable enough to meet them in real life.

For those of you who have a tendency to be shy under normal circumstances that don't carry the same stress value as a date with someone you've never met, this initial correspondence can help to break the ice because you will be able to feel you have some history together before you meet up.

Whether you do your direct dating online, or whether you do it through an agency, make sure that the organization you use offers you certain guarantees. You don't want them to be able to release your personal information to anyone other than those who need it for administrative reasons for example.

When meeting someone as a result of your direct dating endeavors, keep in mind that not everyone is completely honest with their questionnaires. Be prepared for the fact that they may have overstated, or even understated themselves and their personal situation. Listen to what your instincts tell you, and if you are at all uncomfortable, you should either find an excuse to leave early, or finish the date as soon as possible.

You should always, always make sure that someone knows where you are going and who with -- and even arrange to have them ring you about 30 minutes into the date if you have a cell phone if possible so if things don't feel right you will have a way of escaping without feeling rude!

Direct dating is a great way of meeting people who are at least close to the kind of person you want to date. It may be that you connect with a suitable person within your first few dates, or it could be that you need to redefine what you're looking for because the dates you are getting don't fit with your ideal partner image. Either way, using an organization that cuts out the total mis-matches is a great way of finding a date without doing all the footwork yourself!
About the Author
Jane Saeman runs a site called along with info on dating and relationship on her blog at at http://www.Hot-Firefighters.com/blog2
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