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Giving Her Turn - Getting Your Girl To Put More Value In Your Relationship

Oct 15, 2007
Ever notice how you put more value on something you worked hard for over something else that just fell on your lap? A common example of this is when you see someone spend lottery winnings on a fancy house, but thinking twice about investing life savings.

When something comes with a great deal of effort, that object increases its worth to that person who went through a great deal to get it. The same can be said about relationships. Someone who was won over with little effort can be let go just as easily. But when one is made to invest time and resources, it is harder to let them simply slip away.

Guys, believe it or not, it is okay, if not healthy, to let your lady work at your relationship and making things slightly more challenging for her to get you. After all, women have been playing "hard to get" for the longest time. It's only right that they be returned the favor.

You may agree, but then you may not know exactly how. So read on for some helpful ideas on letting your mate work on increasing the value of your relationship.

- Retain some enigma.

Perhaps in their eagerness to impress the ladies, guys nowadays tend to share information about themselves short of a resume. That leaves very little for a woman to build her curiosity on.

Women are creatures of curiosity. They are wired to hunt for information on something that they are interested in. Just looking at how they consume gossip magazines will show you that.

Let this work to your advantage by revealing just enough information about yourself to get them interested while giving them hints on how to find out more. For example, let her know that you two have a common friend, but only give hints as to who it is. If she is in the least interested, chances are she'll be asking everyone she knows if they know you. As a result, you'll probably be constantly on her mind - which is a very, very good thing.

- Challenge her views.

If you don't agree with some things your lady believes to be the only truth, let her know your opinions as otherwise. You will find that she will engage you with a lot more enthusiasm, if only to win you over to her side.

The advantage to this is that if you get "won over" by the arguments she made for her case, she'd feel a greater sense of attachment to you. Just be careful in doing so as your challenge can very easily be perceived as picking a fight, which may turn out badly for the both of you.

- Acquire a new skill together.

Whether it is a craft or a sport, encourage your girl to take up something she's never had before with you. As she agrees, subtly push her to perform better than you are. If you are a very competitive type of guy, this may be quite difficult for you.

But if you keep your competitiveness in check, and allow her to excel over you with this new skill, you help build her confidence while at the same time making you the focus of her efforts.

- Let her imagination work.

When you and your lady have reached the point where you are physically intimate, you access another aspect of your relationship where you can allow you lady to work on.

When it comes to sex, even if she has already encouraged you to talk about it the first time, do what you can to avoid the topic - at least long enough for her to ask the second time. At this point, indulge her with some ideas you have in mind but leave out the details.

Allowing her imagination to fill in the blanks has already got you set up in her mind about the possibilities of an incredible night with you. Remember, a woman's most erogenous zone is her brain. Work this part of her and it'll take all of her self-control not to jump you the next time you meet.

These ideas all work to get your woman to invest more time and effort on you, reinforcing the connection you two have made. But be sure to affirm these efforts and let her know that you notice the work she is putting in. Nothing makes her feel better than to know her man thinks she is not only a great partner, but someone who can stand well enough on her own.
About the Author
My Relationship Tips offers dating and relationships tips for men and women.
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