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Dating Tips: Who Should Dole Out The Money?

Oct 15, 2007
In dating, there are a lot of written and unwritten rules. Once a particular question is asked, it can lead to a start of a debate between the sexes.

An example of such question is: who should pay for a date? Some women will answer right out, it is the guy who should pay. Some may insist on going Dutch.

Money and dating should not be in the same sentence when you are enclosed in that romantic haze, but you have to be practical and think about who should pay when you go out on a date.

The dating game is very complicated, and any aspect about it can start arguments between both genders. The least that one can come up with is some unwritten, modern-day guidelines when it comes to paying for a date. Take a look at the following:

1. The one who initiates the date would have to pay.

If you are a man going after the woman of your dreams, the basic rule of thumb is, you should be the one to pay.

If you are on your second, third or fourth date and it looks as if you will continue to see more of each other, then you can easily make arrangements on who should pay for which meal.

Should there be other expenses when you go out that needs to be taken care of, you can both decide on it as you grow more familiar with each other.

If you are a woman and you casually invited your man to go out, it would not be awkward or bad-looking for him if you offer to pay for your date since you were the one who issued the invite.

The only thing that you need to remember is that the inviter should pay for the invitee.

However, there are times when you would have more than one tab to pay.

If you decide to go to a movie first before dinner, the one who bought the tickets should not have to pay for dinner, too. Make sure that you contribute something and not let your date pay for your entire evening together.

2. If you have it, flaunt it.

Not in your date's face, though.

If you are on a date and one is obviously more affluent than the other, then the more financially capable one should dole out the money.

If you are a woman and you know that you are more well-off than your date, do not hesitate in offering to pay up. Should your date refuse the first time, cave in, but make sure that the next time you go out, you will be the one to shoulder the bill. This rule can also apply to friends going out to eat somewhere.

This does not go to say that the one without funds should never pay, but always consider the other person's financial means when going out on a date.

3. Get this matter out of the way right before your date starts.

To avoid awkwardness, you should immediately get this issue out of the way. For example, just before you sit down to dinner, the person who will shoulder the bill should say, It's my treat, or Dinner's on me. This is so that you would not have to resolve the issue - should an argument ensue - after you have eaten.

4. For men, give ample consideration for traditional or conservative women who still think that it is should be the man who would have to pay for the a date.

This rule particularly applies to women who are above 40. If you want to get on their good graces, it is still a good thing to pay for a date especially the first one. Most women from this age group might feel awkward or uncomfortable offering to pay for a date.

Generally, women will feel more pampered when a man pays for the first date. In fact, most women expect it.

Men, on the other hand, feel like it is their role to pay for the date. In this case, it is okay to throw the modern, unwritten dating rules out the window and let the men pay for the date.

5. Going Dutch is not a very good idea when going out on dates.

Aside from the complications of splitting the bill, going Dutch would not apply to every situation. This would only be good if you are a dating couple and you are both students, then you can split the bill with no harm done.

However, as mature adults, one shouldering the full bill for your night out would show your way of looking at things at a broader sense.

Paying for a date does not show what you are capable of, financially. It would also show your generosity and the fact that you want to take care of each other's needs.

Finally, if you are in the habit of alternating payments between dates, then you are building a give and take quality that every relationship should have.
About the Author
My Relationship Tips offers dating and relationships tips for men and women.
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