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Friends Or Lovers: Choosing The Right Direction

Oct 15, 2007
Love can really work wonders in most people's lives. It can even make great things possible. So when you finally realize that you are gradually falling in love with your best friend, would you give in instantly or would you try to think things over first?

In today's fast changing world, where many unfeasible things happen, many people claim that they are falling in love with their friends or best friends.

Of course, there are those who would say that in friendship, there is also love. Hence, you simply cannot value the friendship that you have if not for love, right?

But the argument is based on the concept on the possibility of a man and a woman's friendship will just stay that way.

In order to understand this argument, one should understand first the true meaning of friendship. The reason why many people are confused with love and friendship is that they cannot distinguish the two conflicting situations.

Generally, in a solid friendship between a man and a woman, love cannot be denied. There are instances wherein both of them could feel strongly for each other, feel jealous if their friend goes out on a date, or even feel emotionally attached to the person. But as long as their relationship remains outside the boundaries of sexual intimacy, then, their relationship remains as friends.

The problem with most people is that they are so confused in giving love and sex a distinction. The society understands that if a man and a woman are friends, and they were seen holding each other's hands in public or was known to express such intense affection for each other, they are already considered as lovers.

What these people do not know is that pure love and affection can thrive in friendship. It is the bond that keeps them together. What they do not know is that as long as a man and a woman is at ease with each other, enjoy each other's company, and a special link keeps them together, it is rightful to say that they have a strong friendship based on love.

However, it does not necessarily mean that a man and a woman who have relatively solid friendship would not lead to being lovers. There are many instances wherein a girl and a boy who once were the best of friends suddenly became lovers.

This idea is not so surprising because there are some surveys that could attest that it is really impossible to have friends falling in love with each other. Surveys show that in 100 respondents that were interviewed if they will ever fall in love with their friends, almost 75% answered yes.

The theory here is that for two people who have heterosexual friendship, it is really possible to fall in love because of the strong affection that they have for each other. There are instances wherein a girl, who knows her male friend is so understanding, caring, and seems to possess every trait that a girl could ask for, would suddenly feel that he is the moan he wants to marry someday.

There are also instances wherein the other party or both parties will eventually develop sexual desire for each other. However, this is based on different factors. These are:

1. The situation or the condition, in which the closeness has been generated

This means that if the friendship of a man and a woman was based on certain situations that where not ordinarily constitute friendship, then, there are higher probabilities that they develop into lovers.

2. The purpose of the two persons involve with regards to their friendship

There are instances wherein some men are too shy to ask a girl out, or there are girls, who are so in love with a guy and yet she feels that the guy will not give her the attention that she needs. And so, they would choose friendship as a way to their love one's heart.

The sense of being close to their love interest is enough to compensate the feeling that they have. Some surveys show that 54% of women and 78% of men use friendship as a way to get close to the person that they love.

Given all that, it is really not impossible to see friends blossoming into a more wonderful relationship where love and affection was even made greater by creating a deeper kind of affection.

The bottom line is that whether it would be better for a man and a woman to stay friends or lovers, the choice is definitely up to them. The important thing is that whether they are friends or lovers, they should always stay attached with each other and support each other whatever happens.
About the Author
My Relationship Tips offers dating and relationships tips for men and women.
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