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The Importance Of Building Chemistry

Oct 22, 2007
Just like a hero and a heroine on the movies who sizzle with passion on the big screen, you and your date should have some chemistry on your big night out.

Once you have gotten over the preliminaries of asking for your date's number and setting up a date, the next problem is what to do when you are already sitting opposite each other on the dinner table.

Men and women alike would like to experience being swept off their feet and feel the natural high of being in love.

However, if your date turns out to be a disaster because you failed to build the chemistry during your date, then you cannot to move on to better things that might have developed between the two of you.

Remember that the first date decides whether you will be given a second chance to get to know more about the person who you are 'chasing'.

In order to understand how to build chemistry between you and your date, first, you need to somehow understand what goes on behind the giddiness that you feel when finding a new love:

Love makes people do crazy things and act in a certain, love-sick way.

You have all experienced the can't eat, can't sleep, I'm obsessed routine when falling in love or finding a new love.

What really goes behind this emotion is too complicated to explain but here is a compromise: a lot of these feelings have to do with our physical make-up and body chemistry.

Scientists believe that all of the emotions associated with finding a new love is further enhanced by natural brain stimulants.

If a person thinks of his or her loved one for a certain period of time, then there will be a higher level of these brain stimulants that would trigger an emotional or physical effect.

This could be lack of sleep or appetite. These effects are associated with the natural stimulants located in the brain.

There is a natural resulting feeling once you see your object of infatuation, and this is the one that can be compared to the high that a person experiences when under the influence of drugs.

On the other hand, it can give you a distressing feeling if you are away from your loved one or if you do not see that person for a certain amount of time.

Understanding where these feelings are coming from can give you a better understanding of the things that you unexpectedly do and experience, once you find a new love.

Passion, Romance and Attachment

It is also believed that there are three stages of a person in love: infatuation or passion, romance and attachment.

Infatuation or passion is that instant lust that zings in your stomach once you see your object of affection.
This can also be associated with lust, or instantaneous attraction. This is the most shallow stage because there is no chance of it developing into something deeper yet.

The second stage is romance. Romance is that need to woo the one that you love.

At this stage, you can say that this is more than just a passing fancy because you are making additional efforts to get to know the one that you love.

Also, at this stage you are giving something of yourself to the other person by showing them ways that you care.

The third and final stage is the attachment stage. This is when you are already an established couple and you feel the need to spend the rest of your life together.

Here, the less passionate stage of your courtship is over and the respect and love that you have for each other will lead you to have a more permanent status as a couple.

This is also when couples would have produced children in the course of their being together. It is said that even this third stage of love is triggered by a natural chemical called oxytocin.

'Building Chemistry'

It is very important to build chemistry once you are on a date.

Make sure that you keep the conversation light, interesting and flowing. The third one is the most important because having an awkward silence at any point of your date is a no-no. Any conversation is better than no conversation at all. Also, make sure that you start in an honest note by being yourself during your night out together.

It would never hurt to get yourself out there and risk getting hurt, than saving yourself from pain but living to regret your decision of not being with the one that you love for the rest of your life.

Learn how to build chemistry between you and yoru date and you will surely have something great to look forward to: a relationship that you can nurture and build with the one you love.
About the Author
My Relationship Tips has hundreds of dating and relationship tips for men and women.
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