Home » Health » Women's Health

Self-Criticism Is A Female Flaw

Aug 17, 2007
My husband worries because he doesn't think I eat enough. I worry because I think I eat too much.

We are both aware of exactly what I eat so why do our judgments vary so greatly?

It is partially a matter of goals. I want to be model-thin so that I can wear the clothes I love and look just like the glossy pictures in the catalogs. He wants me to be comfortable and relaxed and could care less how much I weigh or what size I wear. I suppose if I became humungous, he'd wince, but it would probably require that I be clearly obese before he noticed.

Men give out such mixed signals. They profess their undying devotion but scan every pretty or well-endowed female on the street and read Playboy and other soft pornography, delighting in seeing any woman in some level of nudity. Ask any happily married man and he'll admit he enjoys looking at other women but has no interest beyond the occasional once-over when a female form grabs his attention.

Women feed themselves equally mixed messages. We don't believe in casual looks, feeling driven to actively compete with whoever captured our honey's eye. We critique the pictures he enjoys, pointing out the too-thick ankles, the pre-cellulite dimples, the obviously collagen-enhanced lips, or the lack of class or taste.

Men enjoy looking at women and are remarkably non-judgmental. They appreciate the view for what it is and fail to notice the minor defects we are supremely happy to enumerate.

Now if we could only learn to look at ourselves as uncritically as men do! We look in a full length mirror and instead of appreciating our assets, we groan with horror at our shortcomings. We camouflage less than perfect legs with draping pants or long skirts. We conceal a small bustline with vests and overblouses. We add to our diminutive size by tottering on platforms or stilettos. We cover aging skin with layers of makeup and add extensions to give thinning hair length and volume.

But underneath, we know exactly what we are. We stand in the bathroom and stare at the creases in our skin, the lines in our forehead, the swell between our hip bones. We grimace at every flaw and hate the imperfections of heredity, genes, an unhealthy lifestyle, and the ravages of time.

Then we wonder why we lack the self-confident manner of our male coworkers, relaxed and comfortable in the bodies fates dealt them, blissfully ignorant of their physical faults.

One day, we'll get there - maybe.
About the Author
Dr. Bola is a psychologist and an admitted diet fanatic, specializing in therapeutic reframing and the effects of attitudes and motivation on individual goals. She is the author of a psychology-based workbook for permanent weight control. Reach her at: http://www.DietWithAnAttitude.com/index2.html
Rating:
Please Rate:
(Average: Not rated)
Views: 412
Print Email Report Share
Article Categories
    • Artists
    • Gambling
    • Humanities
    • Humor
    • Movies
    • Music
    • Photography
    • Tattoos
    • Television
    • Classic Cars
    • Motorcycles
    • Recreational Vehicles
    • SUVs
    • Trucks
    • Vans
    • Branding
    • Business Opportunities
    • Careers and Jobs
    • Corporate
    • Customer Service
    • Direct Mail
    • Entrepreneurship
    • Ethics
    • Financing
    • Franchising
    • Home-Based Business
    • Human Resources
    • Import and Export
    • Leadership
    • Management
    • Market Research
    • Marketing and Advertising
    • Negotiation
    • Network Marketing
    • Networking
    • Organizational
    • Presentation
    • Project Management
    • Public Relations
    • Small Business
    • Strategic Planning
    • Team Building
    • Telemarketing
    • Training
    • Data Recovery
    • Databases
    • Games
    • Hardware
    • Networks
    • Operating Systems
    • Programming
    • Security
    • Software
    • Spyware and Viruses
    • Ask an Expert
    • College and University
    • Home Schooling
    • K-12
    • Languages
    • Online Education
    • Psychology
    • Accounting
    • Credit
    • Currency Trading
    • Debt Consolidation
    • Insurance
    • Investing
    • Leasing
    • Loans
    • Mortgage
    • Mutual Funds
    • Personal Finance
    • Stock Market
    • Structured Settlements
    • Taxes
    • Wealth Building
    • Coffee
    • Cooking
    • Gourmet
    • Recipes
    • Wine and Spirits
    • Arts and Crafts
    • Babies
    • Collecting
    • Elderly Care
    • Genealogy
    • Hobbies
    • Parenting
    • Pets
    • Pregnancy
    • Woodworking
    • Feng Shui
    • Gardening
    • Home Appliances
    • Home Security
    • Interior Design
    • Landscaping
    • Affiliate Programs
    • Article Marketing
    • Auctions
    • Audio
    • Banner Advertising
    • Blogging
    • Broadband
    • Domain Names
    • E-Books
    • E-Commerce
    • Email Marketing
    • Ezines and Newsletters
    • Forums
    • Internet Marketing
    • Link Popularity
    • Pay-Per-Click
    • Podcasting
    • RSS
    • Search Engine Marketing
    • Search Engine Optimization
    • Security
    • Social Media
    • Spam
    • Video
    • Viral Marketing
    • Web Design
    • Web Development
    • Web Hosting
    • Copyright
    • Cyber Law
    • Intellectual Property
    • National, State, Local
    • Patents
    • Regulatory Compliance
    • Trademarks
    • Buying
    • Selling
    • Baseball
    • Basketball
    • Boating
    • Cycling
    • Extreme Sports
    • Fishing
    • Football
    • Golf
    • Hockey
    • Hunting
    • Martial Arts
    • Running
    • Scuba Diving
    • Soccer
    • Swimming
    • Tennis
    • Dating
    • Divorce
    • Marriage
    • Weddings
    • Astrology
    • Buddhism
    • Christianity
    • Faith
    • Hinduism
    • Islam
    • Judaism
    • Meditation
    • Metaphysical
    • New Age
    • Cable and Satellite TV
    • Cell Phones
    • Communication
    • Gadgets and Gizmos
    • GPS
    • Satellite Radio
    • Video Conferencing
    • VoIP
    • Addictions
    • Coaching
    • Goal Setting
    • Motivational
    • Stress Management
    • Time Management
    • Clothing
    • Electronics
    • Fashion
    • Gifts
    • Jewelry
    • Causes and Organizations
    • Environment
    • History
    • Holidays
    • Men's Issues
    • Nature
    • Philosophy
    • Politics
    • Women's Issues
    • World Affairs
    • Air Travel
    • Camping
    • Cruises
    • Destinations
    • Outdoors
    • Article Writing
    • Book Reviews
    • Copywriting
    • Fiction
    • Non-Fiction
    • Poetry
    • Quotes
    • Screenplay
    • Tools and Resources