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Does A Face-Lift Make You Taller?

Nov 6, 2007
My grandmother believed in face-lifts - as long as they didn't require surgery. She believed a smile improved everyone's looks.

Most women, however, use lipstick to improve their looks. That's why lipstick is the most frequently purchased beauty product - except by me. I don't wear lipstick. I don't have the patience to reapply it. For me lipstick wears off faster than my mother-in-law's welcome when she goes on and on about how much my husband loved homemade cookies when he was a little boy. Maybe her little boy didn't have soccer practices, music lessons, tutoring and play dates. As far as I know, you have to be home to make homemade cookies - but I digress.

As soon as I discovered certain clothes lifted my spirits, I cleaned out my closet. It didn't matter how long I'd had a skirt or a blouse or who'd given it to me. If wearing it didn't make me feel good, it went to the thrift store. Hopefully, my not feeling good in the blue vest with the sequined, pink flamingo Cousin Walter sent me from Florida is making someone else feel good.

Our building recently had a face-lift. Replacing its monotone paint job with a multi-colored look - and new homeowner's dues - took years off its appearance. This would have happened a lot sooner, of course, if there'd been a woman on our homeowner's board. She would have known paint could be used like makeup to accentuate one's best features.

When a woman gets a makeover, she needs new clothes. After our building was painted, it needed new landscaping. Unfortunately, the new look hasn't been planted yet. The only thing growing is concern about how much it's going to cost.

Thankfully, it doesn't cost much to wash windows. My husband loves clean windows. He thinks they make our home look more cheerful - for a couple of days. It seems seagulls are equipped with radar that finds clean windows.

Yesterday when I was driving in a new area - okay, when I was lost - I found an impressively large, Georgian-style house. When a woman came out its front door, all I saw behind her was a beautiful garden. What I was seeing was an apartment complex with a false-front face-lift - but to me it was like seeing Alice come out of Wonderland. Come to think of it, a house with no housework would be wonderland.
About the Author
KNIGHT PIERCE HIRST takes humorous looks at life.
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