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Why You Don't Have Your Perfect Guy (It's Not What You Think!)

Nov 11, 2007
I bet you think you know the reason you don't have your perfect guy. When you're a love and attraction coach like I am, people tell you their theories all the time. And they're certain they're right. They absolutely know. For sure. Undoubtedly. How could they not know? It's their lives and they're the ones living those lives every day. They know who they are, what they look like, every flaw of their bodies and personalities. They've gone over it all a lot.

So they give the reason--or reasons--with an air of absolute certainty. Sometimes they tell me during our first phone conversation, months before we meet. Sometimes they wait till our first session. The reasons are different, but the way they express them is usually the same. "I know this is it." "I just know." And sometimes, "I've always known."

But I'm going to say something now that you may not appreciate: they're wrong. And it's likely you are too. But please bear with me.

Because when a person is so sure about what she thinks, and she goes over it every day, her belief grows stronger and stronger. That belief becomes her truth. Anyone who says different is, well, a liar. I have no reason to lie to you, and every reason to help you.

Because that's my job. And the other part of my job, in this article, is to move you toward where you want to go. And I will. In fact, I have already begun the process, even though you are likely unaware of it. If I were talking only to your conscious mind, you'd see the reason right here, in black and white. Something like: The reason you don't have your perfect guy is....

And then express it clear as day.

Except I'm not addressing your conscious mind, but your subconscious mind. And I must speak to it differently. In fact, I already have. Your subconscious knows the reason, what hasn't been working, and may already be working on changing it.

Or will tonight, as you enter the stage just before sleep.

Because knowing the reason is the booby prize. But making the change down deep where it will affect--and effect--what's next, that's the real deal. The good stuff you want.

So don't wrack your brain about this. Don't make up reasons like you're not attractive enough, smart enough, you're too smart, your career isn't interesting enough, or it's too interesting. Ditto for your family situation, education, place of origin, or anything else.

Because the truth you don't need to make changes to your most basic self to get the right guy. Sure, you have my full permission to update your hairdo, get a sweater that brings out the color of your eyes better, learn to listen more, be in the moment, be a kind, interesting, and magnetizing date. It's all good.

But to wish you were someone else? No way. There's someone out there waiting for you, so get around more, keep your eyes, ears, and heart open, and ...Let yourself sit with it, calmly and relaxed, and appreciate the simplicity and pleasure of just allowing the proper part of your mind to be already working on it as it surely is...right...now. ©2007 by Wendy Lapidus-Saltz, Jaguar Mind LLC. All rights reserved.
About the Author
Wendy Lapidus-Saltz, principal of Jaguar Mind LLC, is a mind coach certified in hypnotherapy, NLP and other disciplines. She created the Hypno-Attraction® Hypnosis for Love CD and workshops on the topic of love and relationship. Her office is located in Chicago's Gold Coast area. Website: http://www.hypno-attraction.com
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