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Does The Shoe Fit?

Nov 17, 2007
They say you don't know someone until you walk a mile in his shoes. If you walked a mile in mine, you'd have to walk in heels. I'm more comfortable in heels than flats - usually.

My luggage was lost when my husband and I went to Costa Rica. Lost luggage wasn't a surprise. Wearing heels to climb over volcanic rock from a live volcano was. Because hiking in heels was hazardous to my health, I did what I had to do to make sure my luggage was found the next day. I bought hiking boots. I wore them once.

Then there was the time John and I went to Sedona. Because we wanted to experience the beauty of the red rocks, we took an off-road, jeep tour. A long-haired, bead-wearing guide who chanted wasn't a surprise. Wearing heels to climb a twenty-foot rock to commune with nature was. The guide was wearing moccasins, John was wearing Nikes and I was the one who didn't fall. Mother Nature protects her own.

The only place I wear athletic shoes is the gym; and to help ward off boredom while I'm there, I shoewatch. Shoewatching is a type of peoplewatching. Thin soles, thick soles; with laces and without; single or multi-colored; Nike, Adidas or New Balance - they all have one thing in common. They're in perfect condition. Don't body builders step in puddles? Don't they stub their toes? There must be an unwritten rule that their feet have to look as "shoeper" as their bodies.

Birkenstocks, however, aren't worn for looks. People who wear Birkenstocks are serious about foot protection, about arch support and correct fit. On the opposite end of the footwear spectrum are people who wear flip flops. People who wear flip flops only care if they match. Flip flops are what my grandmother would have called "a podiatrist's new car".

My grandmother was a sensible woman with several pairs of sensible foot coverings. She definitely wasn't average. The average woman has nineteen pairs of foot fashion.

I'm way below average. I have ten pairs, but I have a friend with over fifty. Thankfully, this friend is male. It's not just female's who have footwear fetishes. Of course, it might not be a fetish. Maybe people with lots of shoes think self-improvement starts from the bottom up. Maybe people who buy designer shoes think they're art. I couldn't walk on art.
About the Author
KNIGHT PIERCE HIRST takes humorous looks at life.
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