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How To Quit Smoking...Lie!

Nov 21, 2007
I would have killed for a cigarette! My nerves were shot and my future brother-in-law was congratulating me for having the physical and emotional strength to quit smoking. He said all this while he lighted another one. I had to keep smiling and pretend the smoke rising from the cigarette didn't bother me at all! As far as my fiance knew, I had given up smoking months before. She didn't know that this was really my first week without nicotine.

I loved to smoke cigarettes! As the old southern comedian Brother Dave Gardner once said, "I love to smoke! I'd smoke chains if I could light them!" That used to my sentiments exactly! I smoked at least two packs of cigarettes every day for over twenty-five years. Except for the headaches, congestion and constant cough, I enjoyed every minute of my decades of smoking.

The secret to quitting is to find someone who is more important to you than the pack of smokes in your pocket; tell them you've quit smoking just for them. If you've really given up smoking, then you're not lying. If you're as weak as I was though, you'll soon succumb to the urge of just one drag off a cigarette. One puff, or course, leads to another and pretty soon you're sneaking around, gargling mouth wash, changing clothes repeatedly and washing your hair even when it's not dirty, to remove the smell of smoke.

A man would understand that quitting smoking is an ordeal not always successful the first time. My experience with women told me that they would analyze the situation and deduce that the failed smoker must think more of his awful, filthy habit than her. That wouldn't necessarily be true, but try to convince her of that. I figured it would be smarter to lie!

Shortly after I met my wife, I told her that she was such an inspiration to me that I was quitting smoking. That's how much appreciated her. I meant every word, especially when she said she was proud of me. Then I fell off the wagon and began smoking again.

I didn't smoke when I was near her and even condemned those I saw puffing on a cigarette. Was I self righteous or what? I hid it well and as far as I knew, I had convinced her that I'd quit smoking; then came the day of reckoning. She announced that we were going to Florida to meet her mother and would be gone a week.

No Problem! I was tough; I knew I could hold myself together until I could slip away and grab a cigarette. Was I wrong! We were driving with her sister who had just quit smoking herself! All the way to south Florida she complained about not having a cigarette. I was handling the situation very stoically, never mentioning that I was dying for one myself. I had no opportunity to steal even a small puff!

When we finally arrived, her other sister and brother were out on the lanai smoking to their heart's content. My soon to be wife promptly announced that I had quit smoking just for her. Fat chance I had of sneaking a smoke now.

I was living in cigarette hell. Her brother and I would go fishing, with him contentedly puffing away, on smoke after another. The sister that was quitting gave in and joined the smoking crowd on the lanai. I couldn't admit that I'd been lying about not smoking, so I had to endure 6 days with only second hand smoke. I sucked up as much of that as I could!

Not once that week did I complain of not having a cigarette because to do so would be admitting that I was still addicted. Going cold turkey without complaining was a nightmare, but when we finally got back home, I found that I was patting myself on the back for having quit such a nasty habit. Do I still have a desire for a cigarette? Absolutely! But after nearly ten years without one, I'll never light up again.

Did my wife ever find out that I hadn't quit smoking when she thought I did? Probably; but she's never said anything to me about the subject. I never take a trip to Florida though, without thinking of the first non-smoking trip I took with my wife.
About the Author
Bob Alexander is well experienced in outdoor cooking, fishing and leisure living. Bob is also the author and owner of this article. Visit his sites at:
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