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Did Anyone See Where My Youth Went?

Nov 21, 2007
How do you recapture youth? People over forty want to know.

If you see a man over forty wearing an ace bandage, a brace or a cast on any part of his body, you see a man who's been injured in the battle against getting old. Whether his battlefield was a basketball court, a football field or a ski slope, the bad guys were younger. As this wounded warrior "becomes less young", there will be more and more guys to battle; and they'll hurt his ego more than his body. Eventually, one of those young guys will propose to his daughter. Then the warrior will know real pain.

In spite of pain, however, we over-forties continue to jog. We continue to swing racquets and clubs. We think we can postpone aging by not letting go of youth.

Supposedly, we don't have to let go of bicycles because we never forget how to ride them. We may wobble until we get our balance, we may overcompensate for turning one way by turning too sharply the other way, but we never forget how to ride. We just forget how hard the bicycle seat is and how sore our legs will get.

In an attempt to temporarily forget our age, John and I went to a dance club. The bartender was polishing glasses while the DJ set up his equipment. No one else was there; and according to the bartender, no one would be there until at least eleven. John and I smiled, finished our drinks and went home. I don't know how people can stay up that late and be productive the next day - but that night I realized I was too old to lose sleep worrying about it.

Beauty product manufacturers, cosmetic dentists and plastic surgeons profit from our trying to recapture our youth. I accept that, but wouldn't it be nice if that trying qualified as exercise?

Wouldn't it be nice if plastic surgery was like ironing clothes - something we did just to make ourselves look better - not younger? Of course, lots of clothes don't need ironing. Maybe it would be better to put rayon in our body creams.

What would be best would be learning to age well. A man in his late eighties told me there were only two problems with getting old - incontinence and impotence - and then he laughed. His laugh was ageless.
About the Author
KNIGHT PIERCE HIRST takes humorous looks at life.
Take a minute to make yourself smile at
http://knightwatch.typepad.com
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