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Opposites Attract: Why Being Different Might Be the Path to Your True Love

Dec 16, 2007
People look at us rather oddly. For some reason they cannot connect us. If you see the two of us standing apart from each other in a group you would never match up wedding rings. There probably aren't two people you know that are so different and most folks are surprised to see we've been married three and a half decades. We got married as teenagers and have stay married since.

In high stress, high production California many people don't even attempt to have a long term relationship anymore. They are burnt. Their expectations are so low on finding their true love that if it hit them on the head they would not recognize it.

'Gosh' folks remark, 'true and long term love just doesn't happen anymore. And you two are so different...'

Different? Different is an understatement.

She paints and draws and sculpts and makes jewelry. I write and watch ball games. She thinks the Jets are a baseball team. I've been an avid sports fan since I was seven and could debate Al Michaelson.

She likes girlish, frilly stuff with streaks of pink. I like plain, simple stuff with darker blues and browns. She is a Republican, I am a Democrat. Sometimes. She had seven years of formal education and I'm an Ivy Leaguer.

She cries at any hint of emotion or even any thoughts of emotion. I tear up only when my team lays an egg. When she cleans up and washes dishes, she does all of them. When it's my turn, I hide as many dirty pots and pans as I can. When she does laundry, she folds the clothes and puts them neatly away in their corresponding drawers. When I do laundry, I leave the clothes in the dryer.

I'm ready to go. She's still checking everything and making sure nothing's on or something is seriously out of place or what she might forget.

She loves Thai and I don't. I live in the world of business and technology and strategies. She lives in a world of trust and relationships and family. She doesn't want to camp out in the jungle with the jaguars and boas. I look for mosquito netting and my Brazilian machete. She thinks the Super Bowl is like Labor Day or Memorial Day. I think Super Sunday is a holy day that should also be cause for us to reminisce over last season and how our bonehead team can't seem to win for losing.

She thinks Don Nelson is some singer and she doesn't know who Tom Brady is but from the name he's probably a baseball player. Other than Emeril and Rachael Ray I don't know a single TV chef. She's knows all the TV chefs and their philosophies and how their individual personalities contribute to their culinary art. I take it out of the freezer and put it in the microwave.

I think there are worse things in life than tracking in a bit of mud from the lower forty. She doesn't. I believe Nellie Ball and the Warriors are incredibly interesting and she thinks they play soccer.

I can't stand Mexican soap operas and she watches one every night. She is Mexican and I am American. She is dark and I am white. She is Indian and I am Gringo. She has long, black and gray hair and I have short gray hair but none on top. I like my coffee strong and she likes hers diluted with sugar and cream. I like restaurant pizza and she does not.

She likes leaving everything in neat rows and I like leaving everything in a pile. She likes canning jams and preserves and I buy them in a jar. She tries to find some good in not so good people and I say shoot 'em. She believes that if one is a good and decent person nothing bad will happen to them. I believe that humans will stoop lower than any other animal on Earth.

She is woman and I am man. She is ma and I am pa. She sees the longevity of an object and I see the cost of replacement. She doesn't like beer and I think that beer and the game are sacrosanct. She thinks food is therapy and I think beer is therapy.

She wants to be liked and admired by her friends. I could care less. She thinks all men drink beer every chance they get and I say every day is game day.

She thinks I should go through our garbage and separate all the plastic wrappers from the paper products. I think it should all be burned. She thinks recycling begins at home and why throw something out if you've got space to keep it. I say those that save everything eventually run out of space.

She eats with her left hand on her lap and no elbows on the table and I eat anyway I can. She thinks an expiration date means it's got several more years to go and I think it's the date botulism sprouts. She likes the soft, natural light of a late afternoon sunset and I like turning on a light so I can see. She thinks night club humor and anything not PG is not entertainment. In my middle aged years I'll watch and laugh at just about anything.

The fact that opposites attract is a given; north and south, ying and yang, male and female. If this is true, and we both believe it is, then why do all these dating services try to match up attributes that are the same? Shouldn't they be finding compatible differences? No wonder these couples can't get along for more than a couple of days...they get bored to death! After 'you know what' they have nothing to talk about.

You'll have to watch that pop psych guy on TV for more insight into that one...
About the Author
Jack D. Deal is still married and the owner of Deal Business Consulting. He can be contacted at jddeal@jddeal.com Related articles may be found at http://www.jddeal.com and http://www.freeandinquiringmind.typepad.com
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