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How To Overcome The Seasonal Relationship Blues

Dec 25, 2007
The happy season is here again and we are feeling joy and love in abundance. Well, at least if you see the adverts on television or read media advertisements. In amongst all the good will, and I grant you, there certainly is plenty of that, there is unfortunately also a lot of friction and sadness in relationships, which is heightened at this time of year.

The number of break ups in relationships are highest around the Christmas period. It appears that anything not quite right in our relationships is highlighted, as is our loneliness if we are on our own. We all know the reason for this: There are financial pressures, family pressures, the need to do things for others, when we hardly have time to do the things we need to do for ourselves.

The burden of playing happy couples for the children's sake or our parents' or family's sake weighs heavily on many a shaky partnership. Compromises that have worked for years sometimes, suddenly seem to lose their effectiveness and deeper core desires come to the fore.

Particularly when we are presented at every street corner with unbearably happy children, husbands, wives and presents galore, courtesy of the media. Why can I not be like them? Is the eternal question as jealousy and resentment take the place of the picture perfect christmas heaven in our reality.

Facing reality is one of the most difficult things for us to do and it often has disastrous consequences for our relationships. Each of us has their own internal mind map of the ideal relationship, the perfect christmas, the wonderful job, and peace and happiness all round.

The trouble with our mind maps is that they are fundamentally flawed, because we make them up. Yes, you read correctly. We make up our reality. Our minds basically distort reality and delete most of the things around us, Just try this little experiment. Go into a room and see how many things you actually observe at once. You will find that at any given moment out of the millions of pieces of information to take in the mind only notices a few.

Our mind maps are basically the result of old conditioning from parents and other well meaning friends or teachers which we now peddle, quite mistakenly as our own value system which we then bring into our relationships. This is all quite innocent, because we do it without realising it.

Unfortunately this ignorance can cause us a lot of unnecessary problems in our relationships and indeed in all areas of our lives. So, what can we do about this worrying state of affairs?

The answer is simple. Learn how your mind makes up its internal map of reality. Or, in other words become aware of the way you think, how you think and why you think in a certain way. This might sound rather daunting, but with a little help anyone can learn how to do this.

In the field of energy therapy there are a number of simple techniques you can learn to assist you to become more aware. For example EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique is one such technique. Once you master its basics it is incredibly powerful and gets fast results.

Provided it is used correctly you can calm yourself within minutes and you can also gain valuable insights into behaviour and thinking patterns as you become more relaxed. Once you see the often illogical associations you have created in your mind, undesirable patterns are easy to change. How useful this could be when you are under stress in your relationship hardly needs pointing out.

Unlike more conventional therapies, energy psychology techniques work so much faster, are fun to use and anyone can learn them. There are a number of good self help books available you can learn from to get you started. I really urge you to check out energy therapy it is an investment in your life.
About the Author
Mercedes Oestermann van Essen is an Energy Therapist who helps people integrate mind, body and environment for a healthier life
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