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Calibrating For Rapport

Jan 5, 2008
Back, twenty some years ago when I was selling gym memberships, there was a trainer who was a great guy, really funny and sociable, but he just never understood how to communicate with certain people. In a way, he was genuinely himself all the time, but on the other hand this often brought him right up against a wall where he was ineffective in his job.

What I didn't know then, that I know now, was that he had a problem with calibration. Calibration is simply an aspect of rapport.

Calibrating with others requires us to fine tune our movements, cadence, rhythm, tone (etc.) with whomever we're talking to. If I'm chatting with someone who is of lower energy, someone who sighs a lot or breathes deeply, I will match this level of energy. Likewise, if I'm with a fidgeter, someone whose energy is higher or manic, I will raise my energy to meet theirs.

The calibration effect refers to the impact we have on those around us as well as their effect on us. When we are out of sync, we often manifest problems. By checking in with our own state and the states of those around us, we pick up a wealth of information.

Simply put, calibration is energy work.

In a previous post--'Trying on Someone Else's Skin'--I'll explained how to 'become one' with your potential client, suitor, friend. When I use this exercise, the reaction I get most often is, 'I feel like we've known each other forever.'

When that level of calibration is achieved, it's almost impossible to limit ourselves to this incarnation, meaning, 'Wow, man, did we know each other in a past life?' Even if you're not a subscriber to this way of thinking, the feeling your potential (fill in the blank) will come away with is, 'This person is like me. This person is comfortable to me. I trust this person. I want to do business (or work with, or buy from, or do other things with) this person.'

I also posted an article which explained the process of surrounding yourself with a pink bubble. This is a different kind of calibration. It's most powerful in assisting a mutual level of energy. This pink bubble surrounds you and your prospect and merges the two levels. The outcome is similar and instant trust is nearly always accomplished.

For phenomenal group rapport building look for 'shovel it up, filter it out' which explains one of the most amazing techniques I know for creating instant trust with large groups of people. I find that when I use this, I seldom leave the seminar exhausted because I'm keeping the positive and 'up' energy and filtering out the negative, tired energy.

So go back and check out these posts. You're going to really be able to internalize the importance of calibration in the process of rapport and your results are going to skyrocket.
About the Author
Kenrick Cleveland teaches strategies to earn the business of wealthy prospects using persuasion. He runs public and private seminars and offers home study courses and coaching programs in persuasion strategies.
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