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Relationship Tip: The Ball is In Your Court

Jan 10, 2008
The big game is on. Yes it seems like every week is the big game but this is really the big game. 12 seconds left, ball at the 30 yard line. There's just time for one more play. The quarterback goes back to pass, he throws, a sea of hands reach for the ball. It's a CLICK!

Click? Yes that was the sound of the TV being cut off by your significant other. She has something important to tell you. You told her you would listen but that was before halftime. Now she feels the only way to make you pay attention is to be a little radical in her approach.

You snatch the remote from her but it's too late. All you hear is the announcer say, "That was the most spectacular play I have seen in all my years of broadcasting." You feel like crying and yelling at the same time. Wow, she really blew it this time. Didn't she? The short answer is no. You fumbled the snap sometime around the second quarter.

There are many reasons why fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce but the one that seems to be common on everyone's top five lists is a lack of communication. In the sports world a lack of communication between the coach and their team is a formula for a disaster, yet many couples go about using this same blueprint in their relationship.

This applies not only to what happens to be on television. For instance when it comes to certain household chores; you thought she was going to take care of x while she just assumed you were going to handle y. But neither of you communicated so the result is z as in zero got accomplished. Now the frustration starts bubbling up. A few more of these disconnects and you will have a full blown situation on your hands.

Also be careful of too much silence. A lot of couples fool themselves into believing they are so in tune with each other they can be quiet for hours at a time. They can't and believing does not make it so. You must be ready to engage in dialogue at a moments notice and plan to do a whole lot of listening. It seems like our attention spans are getting shorter by the day due to being bombarded 24/7 with information from all corners.

Well guess what? You had no problem focusing on the game for three to four hours so do yourself and your partner a favor by giving them some of your attention. Besides they will be running that same spectacular play ad nauseum on the sports highlight reels so do not sweat it.

Keep the lines of communication open and be ready to give first priority to your relationship so that the next time she has something important to tell you, it will be you who turn the TV off first.
About the Author
There are a lot of reasons why 53% of all marriages in the U.S. end in divorce but for many people communication tops the list. Find out how to have good communication within your relationship at The Relationship Tip
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