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How To Structure Reality

Jan 29, 2008
"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy." -Tom Waits

Reality has to do as much with the structure that is defined as it does with the assumptions that we make about that structure. That's a pretty dense sentence. Read it over a few times.

Reality consists as much with the structure that's defined as it does with the assumptions we make about that structure.

With this one sentence, if you can get it and use it, your ability to persuade will skyrocket forward as it begins to come out into your behaviors and language.

This is even more powerful when it comes to words, what they imply, what they presuppose. The following truism about persuasion is something that has formed the basis of my work, even before I was able to articulate it in exactly this way: people might believe what they are told, but they'll always believe their own conclusions.

This is important so I'm going to say it again: People might believe what they are told, but they will always believe their own conclusions.

You might be able to tell someone something and they believe you and maybe they'll go along with what you're saying. However, if you help them to conclude on their own what you want them to conclude, that is going to be a solid belief. Part two of this truism is, they will form their conclusions as much from what you *don't* say, as what you do say.

This is something to memorize and live by. People might believe what they are told, but they will always believe their own conclusions and they will form those conclusions as much from what you don't say, as what you do.

A major key then is to learn how to structure what you say such that what you don't say communicates more powerfully than what you do say and makes people come to the conclusion that you want them to have on their own.

The following is called a Spoonerism. A Spoonerism is a linguistic play on words which illustrates the idea that people might believe what they are told but they will always believe their own conclusions. They may be thought of as a 'slip of the tongue' but often they're a play on words. The example of 'Go and shake a tower' might be a funny and more subtle way of telling someone they smell bad. When you hear 'go and shake a tower' your brain automatically fills in the statement that was unsaid, 'Go and take a shower.'

When 'shake a tower' gets changed to 'take a shower' in your brain, it is all your brain's own doing. I have nothing to do with that. It's your brain's way of making sense of what you're hearing.

Your brain made you hear the words that made sense to it. You did that on your own. Again, people might believe what you tell them but they will always believe their own conclusions and they will form those conclusions as much from what you don't say as what you do.
About the Author
Kenrick Cleveland teaches strategies to earn the business of wealthy prospects using persuasion. He runs public and private seminars and offers home study courses and coaching programs in persuasion strategies.
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