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How To Save A Broken Marriage

Jan 29, 2008
With everything in our world becoming more associated with quick fixes, people involved with troubled marriages have become too fast to pull the divorce trigger. It seems that most people are willing to sacrifice their marriage instead of trying to find ways to fix the actual problems. But there are some relatively simple strategies you can take to begin the healing process in a broken marriage. Here are the basis steps to get you started.

Identify the Problem

Before you can begin to successfully treat the problems in your relationship you will have to identify exactly what they are. This goes much deeper than broad statements like "he won't listen to me". What you need to do is get to the absolute root of the issue. Why doesn't he listen to you? Is it the way you speak to him or is it the request you are making? By focusing on determining exactly what is causing the various conflicts in your relationship you will understand the steps it will take to resolve them.

Expose the Issues

Once you have a good idea of what is holding your marriage back, it is then time to bring these issues to the surface. This means sharing with your spouse the things that are upsetting you while at the same time offering them a chance to share their thoughts in return. This can be difficult to do, especially if you have a spouse that is reluctant to share their feelings.

In situations where there is significant resistance you will have to become more creative in your approach to the discussing the conflicts. For example, instead of surprising them with a list of your concerns at the dinner table, work the topics into your conversations at a time when there aren't any distractions. Don't begin with your issues first, but rather warm things up by asking them what they would change about your marriage. Once the topic is started you can slowly add your opinions to the discussion.

Making Sacrifices

After everyone has had a chance to say their peace, it is time to move on to solving the conflict. If your spouse is particularly hard to negotiate with, then you will likely have to be the first one to sacrifice something. Show that them you are serious about making changes by being more flexible with their needs. It may even require you to give back on more than one level in order to trigger a reciprocal action from them. The key is to understand that nothing will ever change unless changes are made, and the easiest way to begin is by being the first to take action.

There are simple steps you take to begin the process of saving a broken marriage. For starters, you need to identify exactly what has created the barrier between you and your spouse. From there you can work on the problems by brining them to the forefront and discussing what each side expects from your relationship. Understand that it may take sacrifices from both sides, but you can make the process go faster by being the first to offer some flexibility. Ultimately, you will improve your relationship by discovering what you need to add to it.
About the Author
You don't have to wait for a miracle to save your broken marriage. MendingMarriage.com offers proven strategies to reignite the love that brought you and your spouse together
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