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Do You Have Abrasive Friends Like These?

Aug 17, 2007
Abrasive personalities 101: Are you friends with people that constantly drain your energy, in both obvious and subtle ways? Several types of people will exhaust you or deter you from your path of extreme self-care. The people with abrasive personalities will slowly but surely suck the life out of you. So watch out!

The Blamer.
This abrasive person consistently blames you and/or everyone else for his problems. Nothing ever seems to be his fault. The world and the people in it always seem to create havoc for this person, and instead of taking responsibility for his life, he would rather blame others. Nothing goes well for this person- or if ever something good does- he'll just shelve it and wait for the next big problem.

The Complainer.
The complainer likes to hear his own voice. He constantly complains about what isn't working in his life and yet gets energy from complaining and dumping his frustrations on you. You are updated on his family woes, financial woes and all other problems he might encounter. Bad vibes all the time. This type of abrasive personality's greatest conversation is one with himself but he always likes to have an audience- and sadly that's you.

The Drainer.
So you start your day with the biggest smile on your face, then you run across your abrasive friend who just sucks the life out of you. This is the needy person who calls to ask for your guidance, support, information, advice, or whatever she needs to feel better in the moment. Because of his neediness, the conversation often revolves around his, and you can almost feel the life being sucked out of you during the conversation. This becomes a problem since this abrasive personality never takes into consideration the effect his being too needy has on you.

The Shamer.
A friend should be your biggest fan. The shamer can be hazardous to your health. The shamer may cut you off, put you down, reprimand you, or make fun of your or your ideas in front of others. He often ignores your boundaries and may try to convince you that his criticism is for you own good. The is the kind of abrasive person who make you question your own sanity before his.

The Discounter.
This type of abrasive personality often, if not all the time. discounts or challenges everything you say. Often, he has a strong need to be right and can find fault with any position. It can be exhausting to have a conversation with the discounter, so eventually you end up giving in and deciding to just listen.

The Gossip.
People talk about other people during conversations to avoid talking about themselves. That's exactly what this abrasive personality does. The gossip gets energy from relaying stories, opinions, and the latest "scoop." By gossiping about others, he creates a lack of safety in her relationships, whether he realizes it or not. After all, if he'll talk about someone else, he'll talk about you.

There are a thousand and one reasons why you're sticking it out with your so-called friend. Either way, if you decide to keep your friend with an abrasive personality- just make sure that you know how to handle them. And don't let them rule your life. After all, you can only take so much- and you can only be a friend for so long.
About the Author
James Monahan is the owner and Senior Editor of
http://www.AbrasivePortal.com
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