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One Question To Ask Yourself Before He Proposes

Feb 1, 2008
Now that February 14th is around the corner, all the shops are stocked with the usual Valentines Day gifts. Flowers are always a favorite gift to give and receive. But, for many women, this is a time of anticipation, wondering if they will open a small ring box this holiday loaded with a question every woman waits to hear.

Being proposed to is such a memorable occasion for anyone. My husband surprised me with a traditional military saber arch with him kneeling at the end, with ring in hand, and a simple question that changed my life forever. Even if he wasn't the one for me, it would have been hard to say no to such a proposal. Accepting it was truly the best choice I have ever made.

Unfortunately, for many, the joy of this event disappears as the hype of the wedding dies down and real life begins. All too often, women forget about another important question they should have answered before they were proposed to: "Is he the one?"

There are new trends in how people eventually marry in our society. Often they meet, like each other well enough, and decide to go out a few times. When nothing better comes along, they stay with each other. After a while of this, they decide to move the relationship forward and move in together. Later on, they marry for similar reasons: It's just easier to progress the relationship forward than it is to move on from it. But do they ever ask, "Is this the right one for me?"

Believe it or not, studies show that those who live together before marriage have a higher chance of divorce. Why? I think it is because of this very reason. Instead of making a conscious decision on their compatibility, these couples slid into marriage by default.

Don't let this be you. As you prepare for this Valentines Day, be sure to include making a conscious decision about the direction of your relationship. Be sure to have asked, "Is he right for me?" before he asks an equally important, life changing question.

How can you honestly know if he's the right one? You're heart it too caught up in everything to make any sort of logical decision. And your friends and family all are biased in one way or another. What you need is an impartial process to guide your heart. Unbiased information, compatibility tests combined with an honest evaluation of the relationship is a good way to start answering this question and knowing what to do this February 14th.
About the Author
Wendy Bridger, MSSW helps women create lasting soul mate relationships. "Is He Right for Me?" is a compatibility test she offers to help women choose if their man is the one.
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