Home » Self Improvement

You Can't Change A Person But You Can Encourage Self Awareness

Feb 9, 2008
"What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself." - Abraham Maslow

Before my disability I used to sell a unique kind of training which I call TL Facilitation. It embodies the major attributes of Jack Mezirow's Transformative Learning Theory plus more. For those of you that know me you know I have been a Trainer for 17 years since 1991. It's only in the last 7 years of the 17 that I have developed my own philosophy of training. Training as it existed around me was just not hitting it as far as I was concerned. I saw far too many bad trainers and teachers in my life. I swore I would not become the dull guy standing up there in front of a classroom full of half-asleep students, just reading information off a page. I instinctively knew that was wrong, but what I did not know for years was what was right. The longer I was a trainer the more inadequacies I saw in the system. The more I knew; the more I knew I didn't know. One phrase being muttered by trainers all around me that I knew was wrong was "a Good trainer motivates people." That was gibberish and I knew it.

My website explains "The truth is we can't motivate anybody. People motivate themselves! This is not merely a matter of semantics. For a trainer or teacher it is a critical hinge point that determines the approach we should use in teaching. The way one believes on this will govern without question the result of their training!"www.cyreousquotes.com/motivation.htm That was pretty bold stuff even for me to say but I am not alone in this quest to have people understand this point. The gathering voices of others fueled me and gave me hope time and again that this journey to teach this correctly was a journey worth pursuing.

For the student (and we are al students) it means we must motivate ourselves. No great trainer/guru is going to do that for us. "Oh if I could just hear the great Zig Ziglar speak I a sure I would get motivated." No it doesn't matter who you listen to. Those great trainers are nothing more than a catalyst, a source of inspiration. If they are good their words feel good momentarily, but after you hear them their words will wear away like water washes over the seashore rocks and disappear back into the sea. I am not discouraging you from saving up your money to go hear a great one speak. It can be very expensive to see Anthony Robins, or Stephen Covey, or Wayne Dyer or any number of so called great ones. They will tell you the same, in the end they can't motivate you only you can do that yourself. You must do the change that is required, you must motivate yourself to make those changes.

So that brings me to the word "Change" and our famous person quote for this day. Abraham Maslow, considered the father of humanistic psychology wrote these words; nplease read it several times before you move on. "What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself."

Maslow, aware that people still believed you can change other people or motivate them says well if you are going to try to change people than you have got to turn it away from yourself and turn it on to the person who is making the change. They must change themselves. So get them to become self-aware. That is the first step. Once they become self aware, they listen with a view to change, they take notes with a view to change, they read with a view to change; and then what? They take the action to change! They are the ones that must initiate that action. This is why Maslow is telling all of you who would want to change someone, "What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself." You can't do that yourself. You can't change a person's awareness of themselves, but you can get them to change his awareness oh himself. Now you ladies are included also, don't think that Maslow has forgotten about you, its just the way we spoke back in the day, we would say him or himself and poor women were left out of the picture it seemed, but no that is not true you are included too, just substitute her for him and herself for himself.

This action step that Maslow gave us here inside this quote, is no little matter. It takes a lot to turn your awareness to yourself. Some find it shocking and are literally in therapy to handle such matters. This is a paradigm shift I am talking about. When a person opens his eyes and realizes for the first time he has the power to change himself that is pretty radical even in our time and age. This is the kind of change I work towards. I strive not to change the person, but to get a person to awaken their self which will in turn make decisions to better their life through resources they find on their own. Once a person has started down that line of self actualization, the next steps for them will be the others outlined by the Maslow's Hierarchy of needs. Granted, many need some coaching through this, after all it can get pretty scary living inside the newly acquired self. A coach is useful in guiding a person through the steps and getting a person to act in harmony with his own desires and yet be responsible. such coaches are around us and are available should we want their help. You can reach me and I will get a name of one out to you if you are in need of one.

So always remember, only you can make the change in you that is required. Find teachers who believe in that kind of philosophy and you will be well on your way to the change you seek!
About the Author
John Cyr is a retired workforce development trainer and motivational consultant who writes articles and editorials under the pen-name Johnny Cyreous, or Cyreous. He maintains a website of quotes by famous people and advocates his method of teaching at www.cyreousquotes.com
Rating:
Please Rate:
(Average: Not rated)
Views: 171
Print Email Report Share
Article Categories
    • Artists
    • Gambling
    • Humanities
    • Humor
    • Movies
    • Music
    • Photography
    • Tattoos
    • Television
    • Classic Cars
    • Motorcycles
    • Recreational Vehicles
    • SUVs
    • Trucks
    • Vans
    • Branding
    • Business Opportunities
    • Careers and Jobs
    • Corporate
    • Customer Service
    • Direct Mail
    • Entrepreneurship
    • Ethics
    • Financing
    • Franchising
    • Home-Based Business
    • Human Resources
    • Import and Export
    • Leadership
    • Management
    • Market Research
    • Marketing and Advertising
    • Negotiation
    • Network Marketing
    • Networking
    • Organizational
    • Presentation
    • Project Management
    • Public Relations
    • Small Business
    • Strategic Planning
    • Team Building
    • Telemarketing
    • Training
    • Data Recovery
    • Databases
    • Games
    • Hardware
    • Networks
    • Operating Systems
    • Programming
    • Security
    • Software
    • Spyware and Viruses
    • Ask an Expert
    • College and University
    • Home Schooling
    • K-12
    • Languages
    • Online Education
    • Psychology
    • Accounting
    • Credit
    • Currency Trading
    • Debt Consolidation
    • Insurance
    • Investing
    • Leasing
    • Loans
    • Mortgage
    • Mutual Funds
    • Personal Finance
    • Stock Market
    • Structured Settlements
    • Taxes
    • Wealth Building
    • Coffee
    • Cooking
    • Gourmet
    • Recipes
    • Wine and Spirits
    • Acne
    • Aerobics
    • Alternative Medicine
    • Beauty
    • Cancer
    • Cosmetics
    • Depression
    • Diabetes
    • Diseases and Conditions
    • Fitness Equipment
    • Fitness
    • Hair Loss
    • Heart Disease
    • Medicine
    • Men's Health
    • Muscle Building
    • Nutrition
    • Skin Care
    • Supplements and Vitamins
    • Weight Loss
    • Women's Health
    • Yoga
    • Arts and Crafts
    • Babies
    • Collecting
    • Elderly Care
    • Genealogy
    • Hobbies
    • Parenting
    • Pets
    • Pregnancy
    • Woodworking
    • Feng Shui
    • Gardening
    • Home Appliances
    • Home Security
    • Interior Design
    • Landscaping
    • Affiliate Programs
    • Article Marketing
    • Auctions
    • Audio
    • Banner Advertising
    • Blogging
    • Broadband
    • Domain Names
    • E-Books
    • E-Commerce
    • Email Marketing
    • Ezines and Newsletters
    • Forums
    • Internet Marketing
    • Link Popularity
    • Pay-Per-Click
    • Podcasting
    • RSS
    • Search Engine Marketing
    • Search Engine Optimization
    • Security
    • Social Media
    • Spam
    • Video
    • Viral Marketing
    • Web Design
    • Web Development
    • Web Hosting
    • Copyright
    • Cyber Law
    • Intellectual Property
    • National, State, Local
    • Patents
    • Regulatory Compliance
    • Trademarks
    • Buying
    • Selling
    • Baseball
    • Basketball
    • Boating
    • Cycling
    • Extreme Sports
    • Fishing
    • Football
    • Golf
    • Hockey
    • Hunting
    • Martial Arts
    • Running
    • Scuba Diving
    • Soccer
    • Swimming
    • Tennis
    • Dating
    • Divorce
    • Marriage
    • Weddings
    • Astrology
    • Buddhism
    • Christianity
    • Faith
    • Hinduism
    • Islam
    • Judaism
    • Meditation
    • Metaphysical
    • New Age
    • Cable and Satellite TV
    • Cell Phones
    • Communication
    • Gadgets and Gizmos
    • GPS
    • Satellite Radio
    • Video Conferencing
    • VoIP
    • Clothing
    • Electronics
    • Fashion
    • Gifts
    • Jewelry
    • Causes and Organizations
    • Environment
    • History
    • Holidays
    • Men's Issues
    • Nature
    • Philosophy
    • Politics
    • Women's Issues
    • World Affairs
    • Air Travel
    • Camping
    • Cruises
    • Destinations
    • Outdoors
    • Article Writing
    • Book Reviews
    • Copywriting
    • Fiction
    • Non-Fiction
    • Poetry
    • Quotes
    • Screenplay
    • Tools and Resources