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Weddings And Children Can Be A Dangerous Combination

Feb 9, 2008
Most of the romantic and idyllic wedding scenes we have seen in movies involve cute and lovable children. However, being the cheery, innocent and fun creatures that they are, most often weddings, at least in the movies, involving children turn out to be hilarious and disastrously amusing.

Most kids are fun seekers, and will have no qualms about amusing themselves when things get dull. They can also have a hard time calming down and appreciating the importance of the day, the way adults do. When it comes right down to it, weddings can be very boring for children.

When children get bored, they become trouble to adults. They can roam around, throw food at people, fight with other kids or ruin things. These are entertaining to them, but can be nightmares to adults, especially to brides and grooms during weddings.

Should You Invite the Children?

Let's face it. The reality is that more and more brides and grooms are not fond of the idea that children would be coming to their weddings.

Just the thought of screaming children and children messing up with her gown and that of the bridesmaids make several brides panic. Another fact is that some parents are not very sensitive to the concern. They could not appreciate and comprehend how a bride could dislike cute and loveable kids in her wedding.

Wedding etiquette guides and books suggest that you should make it clear on the invitation that children are not invited. They offer two ways of stating that the bride and groom would rather not have children in attendance. Either omit the kids' names from the invitation, or verbally spread the word that your wedding is an "adult only" occasion.

The second option may seem a little extreme, but it's better than enduring a child's misbehavior or tantrums on your special day.

Because not all people understand and know wedding etiquette, it is sensible that at some occasions, the couple should be straightforward and inform the guests beforehand that the wedding would involve an 'adult reception.'

There are some situations that call for frankness and, in this case, you'll need to tell your guests that their children are not welcome at the ceremony or the reception. They may see it as an impolite gesture, but think about it from a practical standpoint. It's your once-in-a-lifetime day, and formality is important. Embrace and protect your right to the perfect wedding.

Another method to exclude children in wedding invitations is to mention the number of seats reserved for a particular guest. For example, Mr. and Mrs. Mercer are reserved only two seats at the reception. That means that Mr. and Mrs. Mercer's five children do not have places in the wedding. They should understand that.

If your guests are still clueless and insist on bringing along their children with them, contact them before the wedding and explain why their children may not attend the wedding. They may need a little wedding etiquette education.

Wedding etiquette for the parents

For parents, if it is not said in the wedding invitation that children are not permitted to attend the wedding, and the couple and hosts did not call to emphasize the idea, then it is safe to assume that you could bring along your children.

However, be informed and remember the simple wedding etiquette for parents. You would not want to spoil the wedding just because your child suddenly acted out or threw a tantrum.

Put yourself in the bride and groom's position. How would you feel if it was your wedding, and someone else's kids were causing a scene? Suddenly, they don't seem as sweet or cute.

As a guest of the bridal couple, take the initiative and leave the kids at home. They'll likely have more fun doing their own thing, playing with their own toys or watching TV. Even homework can be more fun than a wedding. Formal events are terribly boring for kids, and bored kids can create wedding-crashing scenes.

If you absolutely must bring your child, wedding etiquette experts advise you to make the most of the opportunity. In other words, mark the occasion as an opportunity to teach your kids about simple and practical wedding etiquette. You can turn this occasion into a lesson by informing the child that he or she is expected to behave just like the adult guests.

This is a great teaching occasion to show the kids how to act during weddings, and educate them about some table and social manners.

Wedding etiquette also suggests that we should treat every occasion as a learning experience. Couples can learn to be good and patient hosts, and parents can learn a valuable lesson about taking responsibility and sharing valuable social skills.
About the Author
Author Larissa Levise writes for a variety of popular Internet magazines, on family friends and child family themes.
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