Home » Relationships

Being Attached And Loving Yourself

Feb 10, 2008
Sometimes, we wish that relationships could be just as easy as adding one plus one. Unfortunately, relationships are not mathematical problems that we can conjugate and there is no one distinct formula that we can follow so that we will be able to avoid those ill-fated heartbreaks. Why relationships fail has a lot to do with loving yourself than most of you would think.

Many of us change with relationships. A number of people change a lot about themselves. They not only modify their schedules and routine habits; they revolutionize the way they look - change of clothes, change of hairstyle, change of fashion style and even alter their personalities and behavior. They pattern their lives to what they think their partners would like. To impress their dear vegetarian muse, a regular hamburger eating Joe may force himself to go for a Caesar salad instead. This could not only cause biological consequences to his digestive system but such a drastic change could affect his psychosomatic structure too. This, in a word is unhealthy.

When you allow yourself to be consumed with your relationship, there definitely would be little time for yourself. Your individuality is important because your uniqueness defines who you are. Losing your sense of self to adapt to your relationship can cause a lot of emotional stress consciously and unconsciously. Remember the other person loved you because you have distinct endearing qualities that he has not found in anyone else. When you lose yourself, you might eventually lose your partner too because he no longer sees the woman he fell in love with.

When you are able to maintain your identity despite being seriously engaged, it means that you are in a nourishing relationship. It indicates that you are in the right state of maturity and conscientiousness to carry and move on with the ups and downs of your relationship as you know who you are, you love yourself enough to be who you are and you are confident in your own skin. It starts with loving yourself first and with that kind of maturity it will definitely follow that your relationships will be stronger and deeper. Further, you will be more open to new experiences and able to accept the character and traits of your partner more. With your personality intact, there are fewer tendencies for you to be boring. Giving time to family, friends and activities you have before you were engaged not only makes your time with your partner extra special so you get to appreciate your quality moments more.

Maintaining your own person also helps you deal more easily with heartbreak. It cannot be denied that no matter how much we nurture our affiliations, they break when it is simply not meant to be. Since you are already stable standing on your feet, there is less chance that the hurt will scar you that deep. Because you love yourself, you do not allow such failure to cripple you. You merely have to pick yourself up, brush those sad love dusts and move on with a better and brighter perspective.
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