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How To Gain Self-Confidence For Real

Feb 10, 2008
Confidence is something that can go a long way in helping us achieve our life goals. By appearing confident we gain respect in both social and professional situations. Confident people earn more money, have more friends, and are arguably less likely to be depressed for extended periods of time.

There is a distinction between being confident on the outside versus on the inside. You can put on an act of self-assurance even on days when you aren't feeling that way inside. It is hard to do so, however, on a regular basis. And the fact that this is an act can leave you feeling empty due to the insincerity involved.

It is important to be sincere. There are those among your friends and colleagues who might fall for a front, but there are many more than you realize who will see through that. And even those who are a little disingenuous at times themselves will respect you if you are always honest and genuine.

So we've established that confidence is important, but that feigned self-assurance and false pride can be detrimental. But where does confidence stem from? Can a person just wake up one day and choose to be confident? The answer is not so simple.

First of all, yes, it is possible to make a choice to become more confident. A mindset can go a very long way in affecting not only how you feel, but what happens to you. It is said that about 80% of what happens to you depends on you (as opposed to outside stimuli).

On the other hand, no, simply deciding to be more confident is not enough per se. You must believe it, and you must have conviction. You must make it real, you must have faith, and you must believe in yourself. Trite as that cliche always sounds, it always rings true and we all know it.

There is no denying that true confidence comes from within. The first step towards real long term confidence is a belief that you have worth. You must look within yourself and consider the good things about yourself. Focus on those and realize that you are special and unique.

But the real key can be found in the Bible which reminds us that all have sinned. If you keep in mind that no one is perfect and that everyone has insecurities, you will relax and know that people are not better than each other after all. Admire others and aspire to be something more than you are now, but relax and know that your true value as a human being was there at birth and nothing can take that away.

Finally, keep your mind and heart set on positive things at all times; confidence will be a natural byproduct.
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