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7 Ways Of Improving Self Confidence

Feb 24, 2008
Even the most outwardly confident person has times when they would appreciate more self confidence. For the rest of us mere mortals, here are some helpful tips for improving self confidence.

1. Stop putting yourself down

We all have an inner voice. You know, the one that nags you incessantly if you get the slightest thing wrong. You wouldn't let anyone else talk to you in that tone of voice, so don't let yourself do it either! This takes a little practice but the essence is that every time you hear yourself criticizing you, tell that voice to go away (your choice on how polite you are when you do this!)

2. Play to your strengths

You're good at quite a lot of things if you think about it. Play to these strengths. Do more of the things you're good at. You'll find your confidence improving as you become more successful at these. Success breeds success, so it will spill over into other areas of your life.

3. Stop being so negative!

Cut down on your intake of negative things. Turn off the news. Don't read a newspaper. These two can be scary but other people will tell you if anything actually important hits the news. Don't be negative about yourself either - stop saying that you'll never be any good at whatever it is. As far as possible, don't let others be negative about you either.

4. Set achievable goals

Set them out step by step. You wouldn't climb a whole mountain in one giant leap. Split your goals into "bite sized chunks" so that you are constantly achieving something towards your goals. The regular sense of achievement will start boosting your confidence.

5. Remember a positive event

Go back to when you were more confident - it doesn't matter when particularly. Remember what you felt like. See yourself being confident and calm and collected. Make this image larger and more colorful. Add in the sounds that were there when you were feeling so full of confidence. Then "anchor" that feeling - maybe touch your left earlobe, maybe pinch your thumb and middle finger together, whatever you can use to easily "anchor" the feeling. Repeat this a few times and you'll find that the simple firing of your trigger will bring back these warm, happy, confident feelings.

6. Be yourself

You are who you are. Over time, you can use various self improvement techniques to work on yourself and improve things you want to change. But accept yourself as you are - you'll actually find you're probably quite likeable "as is".

7. Celebrate failure

You didn't learn to walk the first time you wobbled onto two feet. You probably weren't a natural bicycle rider or car driver either. As we grow older, we seem to expect to be able to do new things brilliantly the first time we try them. Unless it's painting by numbers or something equally facile, this doesn't happen in real life. Each failed attempt is just one more way you've learned how not to do something. Learn from your mistakes and build on your successes.
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